One sunny
morning a little girl was playing in her village and suddenly the sun disappeared.
The sky turned black the clouds turned grey. It started to rain and the wind
blew so hard that the trees broke from their roots. Everybody ran for shelter,
the little girl was too slow. The wind was blowing her back from the village.
The wind made a tornado the little girl was getting pulled in the tornado but
suddenly the tornado stopped. The wind stopped blowing, the rain disappeared
and the sun came up and it seemed like nothing happened in the village.
Wow that sounds like a violent storm boys! I liked your describing words. They made your story really dramatic. I'm glad the girl got to safety. What did you enjoy about doing the 100 word challenge?
ReplyDeleteDear Mrs Parkinson Thanks for commenting on Mine and Usman's 100 word challenge. The thing i enjoyed about it was working with Usman my friend and talking about the village and what is going to happen.
DeleteFrom Enoka
I love the fact that your story is a bit like a circle - it takes the reader back to the start again! This is a very effective structure. I wonder whether you can think of some interesting describing words to add to your story, in order to make your writing even more lively? For example, what about some similes? 'The sky turned black like.... '?
ReplyDeleteWell done
Wow Enoka & Usman! I wouldn't of wanted to be that unfortunate little girl that very stormy day.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of very stormy, if the storm was that bad, how could the village still look nice and pretty?
Chayse
Hey chayse Enoka here i'm not quite sure why the village still look nice and or pretty we never talked about it. But thanks for commenting any way.
DeleteFrom Enoka :)
Hi its Lucy from Tangowahine school. I like your describing. I liked the part when you said the little girl was playing in her village and suddenly the sun disappeared.
ReplyDeleteWould you know how to make it better?
Hi
ReplyDeleteI really like your story it made my heart stop when you said the sky turned black! How long did it take to think of that idea?
From Hope Tangowahine School
Was the little girl hurt in the end or was she ok?
ReplyDeleteHow long did it take to write the story.
from T.W.S by Jessica.S. and Tori