Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Toby's 100 word challenge

                             THE STORM


There I was just outside when it started, THE STORM, it surprised me and made me run. The rain fell like bullets from a machine gun. It roared like a lion protecting her cubs. The violent storm was so big the thunder was a blast of sound. The lightning was so big that it took down a house. Everyone started to rush to lock the doors. Hail was the size of golf balls but then a miracle happened, it started to fade away. The clouds turned white again I was so happy that it was finally over... till next time... 

3 comments:

  1. Hi Toby

    What a clever story! I really like the way you have used a variety of language features (adjectives etc) to desrcibe the storm. I could really visualise your story in my mind.
    I like the happy ending when the clouds turned white agian and it was all over!

    From Mrs Natusch

    PS - keep entering the 100WC!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Toby
    Well done on your 100 word challenge. You have used a lot of similes as well as some personification. I really enjoyed reading this.

    Mrs Paton

    ReplyDelete
  3. Great writing Toby for the 100WC! You have worked hard to build a picture for the reader using similes and exciting adjectives. I really enjoyed reading this, thank you for sharing your writing.
    Mrs Neale
    Team 100WC

    ReplyDelete