Tuesday, October 29, 2013

The Violent Storm Was...

The gale force winds woke me up as they thundered against the window pane. I told myself it was just a little bit of rain when suddenly the boom of the thunder and the split second flash of lightning erupted into the sky. As quick as a flash I was under the covers hugging Mr Snuggles my cute teddy bear. A shudder ran through my spine as the rain poured down, I was petrified.  I let my mind wander to all the bad things that could happen to our old 1950’ cottage. This violent storm was the worst in centuries.

7 comments:

  1. Hi Emily
    What a great piece of writing! You had me stuck under the covers with you. I loved the choice of words... petrified, erupted, and thundered. they certainly conjured up specific feelings for me.

    Well done

    Mrs Paton

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    1. Thank you so much for commenting on my blog,
      I'm glad you liked it.
      Emily Room 12

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  2. Hi Emily

    Wonderful story! I like how you have written it in first person and described a moment in time when you were woken up by a storm.

    You have used a variety of sentence beginnings, feelings and adjectives to make your writing come alive!

    Keep entering the 100WC!

    From Mrs Natusch

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    1. Hi Mrs Natusch
      I'm glad you enjoyed my story.
      I definitely am going to enter more 100 word challenges, I really enjoy writing them.
      Emily room 12

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  3. Hi im Summer from the Richmond school. You used great punctuation and good adjectives like petrifed erupted also you wrote in first person you realy set the scene in my head and made me want to carry on reading i new ecsacly what you was on about and i cant wait to see more of your work on the bloog well done Emily

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    1. Thank you so much Summer,
      I am glad you liked it :)
      I sure am going to post lots more stories on room 12's blog.
      Do you like writing?
      Emily room 12

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  4. Well done Emily, this is really atmospheric

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